Soldier
by oceanjewel
Summary: James Potters reaction when he finds out his sons life must end in, or include murder. R&R plz!


Disclaimer: I own NOTHING I repeat NOTHING featured in this fic apart from the plot. Cheers (oh and plz dnt sue me!)  
  
Summary: James potters reaction when he finds out his sons life must end in, or include murder  
  
Rating PG for some swearing towards the end  
  
Spoilers: PoA, OotP  
  
James Potter walked in through the door of his London home and slammed it shut a little too loudly. The cat that had trotted up to greet him gave him a highly affronted looked and trotted off down the hall. James sighed and began kicking off his shoes, trying with all his might not to think about what Dumbledore had told him only half an hour ago  
  
"Hey," he looked up, startled to find his wife Lily standing directly in front of him wearing a white bathrobe, her long hair falling carelessly past her shoulders. His heart gave a small flutter. Every time he saw his wife he was startled by how beautiful she was. She had dark, rich red hair that was for the most part straight except four last three or so inches which waved and a few loose waves framing her face. She had creamy skin, a few freckles scattered across her nose and cheekbones and large, startlingly green almond shaped eyes. She wasn't supermodel stunning When they were still at Hogwarts Sirius had referred to her once as a "standard pretty girl" and James was sure their were more attractive women out there somewhere. Not for him though. He found her more beautiful than any creature alive, except perhaps Harry. He found her beautiful, not just because of her looks but for the person she was inside. She was his soul mate, his one true love.  
  
"Hey," the knot of tension in his chest seemed to loosen slightly as she padded over in her slippers and kissed him. And though it caused him pain he added, "Where's Harry?"  
  
"Oh I'm giving him a bath. He threw up over himself just before you got home.are you alright?"  
  
"Yeah. Just.just had a hard day at work" she stared pensively at him for a few seconds then said "no.it's more than that. I can tell.something's wrong" he sighed inwardly. Yes, something was wrong. As wrong as wrong could be, infact. But he couldn't talk to Lily about it. Not now, not yet.  
  
"Did you fight with Sirius?" she asked abruptly.  
  
"What? Oh.erm.yeah actually, I did," he said, gratefully seizing onto the excuse  
  
"Don't worry you guys will make it up, you always do,"  
  
"Hmmm,"  
  
"I'm gonna get Harry ready. Wanna help?"  
  
"No," he said quickly, making Lily stare, "I mean, no thanks, I'm too tired" No I'm not, he added silently, I just can't stand to see my son right now  
  
"OK, then" she padded back upstairs looking slightly suspicious. James walked into his study, sat down and put his face in his hands. He couldn't bear it. Voldemort was coming after them, after Harry. Harry. His son. His little boy. It seemed longer than just a few hours ago that he was at the Order headquarters waiting for Dumbledore. There had been a death-eater attack that day on a small wizarding settlement in Wales. Lily, who was a healer was sent out to deal with the casualties and Sirius, who was an Auror along with James had been sent too. Dumbledore had insisted on James staying behind with Alice Longbottom another member of the Order of the Phoenix, his only explanation being he needed to talk to both of them. James had wondered what on earth he had to see him and Alice, of all people, about. Sure they were both Aurors working for the Order, but she wasn't his Partner in Defence, that was Padfoot who was out fighting death- eaters. Alone.  
  
They had waited nearly an hour in confused silence before Dumbledore had time to talk to them both in private. He offered them a seat and asked them to brace themselves. He told them about meeting a possible Divination teacher many months ago, Sybil Trelawney, who had prophesised about a child that was to be born. A child who could finally put an end to Voldemort. James listened to this with rapt interest, a warm hope bubbling gradually in the pit of his stomach. Someone was coming to save them. But why was Dumbledore telling him now?  
  
"There are three features that will identify the child, " Dumbledore said quietly, though he did not look hopeful like James and Alice. Actually, he looked quite sad, "Firstly, the child must be born at the end of July," something jolted in James's mind. Harry was born at the end of July. But Dumbledore couldn't possibly think.  
  
"Secondly, the child must be born to parents who have escaped the Dark Lord three times" James's breath caught is throat. No, oh god no, please don't say he means what I think he does.  
  
"Thirdly, Voldemort must mark him as his equal. Which is where the problem arises. As you have no doubt worked out, Sybil Trelawneys prediction, could be referring to either of your two sons. It is up to Voldemort to determine which shall be the one to vanquish him. He will, no doubt, come after one, or possibly both of your families" James felt a cruel rush of hope that Voldemort would go for Neville and leave Harry alone. This was crushed however, by a large weight of guilt, as Alice broke down next to him and began to sob. He did not want Frank and Alice's child to die, they were such nice people and good Aurors too. But to loose Harry.  
  
He swallowed. Dumbledore expressed his sympathy and told them that as they were now prime targets of Voldemort, the Order would to everything within its power to protect their families. James nodded, not really taking anything in. Then Dumbledore disapparated leaving James staring stonily into space, Alice sobbing quietly in the chair beside him.  
  
"Daddy!" a small voice broke James's thoughts. He looked up to see Harry, dressed in a baby-grow, crawling defiantly into the room. James smiled, trying to ignore the stinging sensation in the corners of his eyes  
  
"Daddy"  
  
"Come here, baby" He stretched out his arms Harry stood rather shakily up on his feet and toddled towards him. James felt a hint of pride. Harry had been walking for nearly two weeks now. He lifted Harry off the floor, sat him on his lap. and looked down at his one-year-old son. He was quite small, even for a baby, but he seemed to be growing by the minute. He had a tuft of jet black hair, just like James's , a button nose and bright green eyes that looked about three times to big for his head. Now a lump was forming in James's throat and Harry, by some baby intuition, sensed something was wrong.  
  
"Daddy?" he repeated one of the few words he knew. James pulled him closer, resting his son's tiny head against his heart  
  
"You're so special to me my little guy," he croaked kissing Harry's forehead "I love you so much" he lightly laid his head against Harry's, feeling his eyes fill with tears. No, he told himself. You have to be strong. Harry and Lily can't see you like this; you must be strong, for them. A minute hand reached up and grabbed James's cheek. He smiled fondly down at his son who had an odd expression of solemn understanding on his face. An expression that both comforted and unnerved James.  
  
"It's hard, my little fawn" he confessed, "everything's hard. I can't tell your mum just yet.she'd worry to much and theirs not much we can do right away" he looked down once more and was shocked to see Harry's over-large eyes brimming with tears, "and now I've made you cry" James added helplessly. He started to tickle Harry in an attempt to cheer him up. Harry, however did not respond as usual but continued to watch James with the same wide-eyed expression-as though he understood what was going on and felt sorry for his dad. But that was impossible, Harry was only a year old, I just freaked him out, dismissed James to himself  
  
"James?" Lily walked in dressed in pyjama bottoms and a strap top. Her hair piled in a messy bun on top of her head. Catching sight of Harry she cooed, "there's my favourite little boy" Harry giggled.  
  
"Mummy!" she leant down to pick him up but stopped at the sight of her husbands face.  
  
"What's up?" she asked in a voice of concerned urgency.  
  
"N-n-nothing," he looked into his wife's eyes that so mirrored her sons. He prayed she couldn't tell he'd been crying. Ironically, what he really needed right now was a shoulder to cry on. In most situations he would have turned to Lily for comfort but he couldn't. Not this time. He needed to make sure he was in a fit state to comfort her before he confided in her about Harry, Neville and the prophecy. And yet he really did crave comfort. He needed someone to listen , to understand, someone who he trusted he could tell anything without them going to pieces themselves. And he knew just the person.  
  
"Lils, I'm going to go see if I can patch things up with Padfoot" he said. It wasn't exactly a lie, but it wasn't the truth either. He and Sirius hadn't fought for two years.  
  
"Ok but don't be too late" she scooped her son up in her arms and kissed James jaw  
  
"Won't be," he muttered before disapparating to the flat where Sirius had been living alone since he was seventeen. James sometimes wondered if Sirius missed living with people. He definitely wasn't lonely. He was always round their house (at mealtimes especially) and constantly had an adoring girlfriend hanging off his arm. James just knew he would be lonely if he wasn't living with Lily and, he gulped, Harry too.  
  
Sirius's flat had been James's second home for nearly three years so when he found himself materialising just inside the front door he headed straight down the corridor to the lounge where he knew his best friend would be at this time in the evening. Sure enough he found Sirius sitting at a very untidy desk in the corner of the living room writing a report for the Order and eating a very large bag of marshmallows.  
  
"Hey Prongs" Said Sirius without turning around or looking up. Despite his mood, James couldn't help smiling inwardly at that. His best friend knew him so well that James didn't even have to do or say anything for Sirius to know it was him.  
  
"Marshma...what's up?" his expression changed from light hearted to concerned in an instant and he turned in his chair to look at James. Sirius's eyes were very dark brown so most of the time they looked black, but warmer, somehow. Right now they were full of questions and sympathy at his friends obviously distraught state. James mumbled the whole story of Harry, Neville and the prophecy. It took him a lot of strength but he was glad to get it off his chest.  
  
"What? Oh.Oh god," Sirius looked stricken. He cared a great deal about Harry too, being his godfather and all. He ran a hand through his stylish black hair, "how are you taking it?"  
  
"How do you think I'm fucking taking it!?!" James exploded and kicked a nearby sofa. He paused, his anger had dissipated leaving him feeling helpless and vulnerable, "I mean, why?" he asked stupidly, "why my son? Why not someone else's?" as soon as he said this the injustice of it all came welling back like a tidal wave inside him  
  
"FUCK!" he yelled punching the wall and then he could hold his emotions back down longer. James Potter broke down and cried. Sirius stood up silently, crossed the room and pulled James into a warm embrace. James buried his face deep into Sirius's shoulder and let himself sob.  
  
Even Soldiers cried sometimes  
  
So wat did u think? A bit weird I know but its my first fic. Plz, plz,plz review! 


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